ootsfandomcom-20200222-history
Technically, the "Fish" Version is a Subset of This One
}} Old Blind Pete contemplates a new nickname. Cast * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * Cleric of Loki ◀ * Old Blind Pete ◀ ▶ * Eyepatched Thief ▶ * Red-Headed Thief ▶ * Thief with Crimson Hair Transcript Pete stands in the front door. Pete: But this is my house! And I can finally see it again for the first time in years. Eye patched guildie: I'm sorry we can't let anyone in or out. Bozzok's orders. Pete: At least let me change my clothes! Why didn't anyone ever TELL me I was wearing orange and purple together?? Pete: Look, all I really want is get to my den, right behind you. I'll just sit and read a book until you guys give the word. Eye patched guildie: Well...I guess it wouldn't kill us to let you stay in— Eyepatched Thief gets killed from behind by a thrown dagger, "shtherk!" Belkar kills another red haired guildie with the XXX-bottle, "WNNK." Belkar kills a Red-Headed Thief at the door and puts his short sword into Pete's foot, "SHUNK!" Belkar: Hey there! Welcome home! You're looking well, let me massage your feet. Pete: AHHHH! Belkar: I'll start with the inside. Pete: Please don't stab my eyes out, please don't stab my eyes out, please don't stab my eyes out... Belkar: Why would I do that? Because you sold us out to a bunch of third-rate wannabes? Belkar: Nah, I'm not going to do anything to you, Petey Boy. Belkar: Other than leave you in the capable hands of your dear old childhood friend here. Cleric of Loki: Me? I mean, I never—in self-defense, sure, but— Belkar: First time for everything, right? Consider it my "thank you" gift to you. Cleric of Loki: Listen, I'm skipping town tonight. How would you like a job as a bodyguard? Belkar: ... Belkar: Nah, I think I better go help the girls. It's a whole thing. Cleric of Loki: Good luck to you, then. Belkar: You too. Pete: Listen, listen! You don't understand! Yeah, OK, I told them about you casting spells behind the Guild's back— Cleric of Loki: Spells for YOU! I only did it to help YOU, Pete! Pete: —but I came back to help you escape! Pete: They let me in because it was my house, didn't they? It's all part of my big plan! Cleric of Loki: I guess you have all the angles worked out then. You're a real smart guy, huh? Pete: Heh heh, you bet. Now help me get this sword out— Cleric of Loki: Maybe we ought to start calling you... Cleric of Loki: "Brainy Pete". Pete: ... Pete: No! NO! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, it was all a— Belkar: See what we learned today, Mr. Scruffy? Mr. Scruffy: Meow? Belkar: Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime! From off-panel come the sounds of the cleric beating Pete to death, "THUNK! THUNK! '''CRACK!!' squilch."'' Trivia * The title and Belkar's final remarks in the last panel refer to the proverb, "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime". The first attestation of this phrase occurs in an 1885 novel. * This is the final appearance of the Cleric of Loki. He first appeared in #602. * This is the first appearance of the Eyepatched Thief, and Red-Headed Thief. It is also the only strip in which they appear alive. * This is the only appearance of the Thief with Crimson Hair in the web comic. He also appears in On the Origin of PCs. External Links * 612}} View the comic * 98198}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Runs Afoul of the Greysky City Thieves Guild